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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28621662">one drink away</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/morebees/pseuds/morebees'>morebees</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Confused Choi Yeonjun, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, Gen, Happy Ending, M/M, POV Alternating, Partying, Repression, Soft Choi Soobin, and yes they are drinking but i guess they're all of legal age idk it doesn't really come up, bts are idols itzy are the ppl hosting the party and i made them all gay, hueningkai and taehyun are They Seem Like Very Good Friends in this, i did not mean to make this so long, itzy and bts are also briefly mentioned lmao, lol great tags, only like two swear words, ot5 all best best friends!!, they literally drink so much water like txt hydration excellence, yeonjun in a dress and beomgyu in a skirt bc Gender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:15:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,007</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28621662</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/morebees/pseuds/morebees</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“okay good, i was instructed to find a boy with pink hair and you’re basically the only option,” ryujin giggles. “soobin’s looking for you. he’s in either mine or yeji’s room, upstairs,” she says, pointing her finger upward. yeonjun’s brow furrows. “yeji texted me to tell you, apparently he’s pretty drunk,” she says semi-seriously. </p><p>yeonjun sighs. he knows soobin isn’t stupid, soobin knows his limits with alcohol. but yeonjun also knows that sometimes soobin just gets in these moods when he’s drunk, where he wants nothing more than to see yeonjun. which admittedly, is fun, he loves hanging out with soobin. it can just be a bit of a long process sometimes. once yeonjun starts talking to him, they usually don’t stop until soobin's passed out. </p><p>-</p><p>ot5 go to a house party and soobin has a little too much to drink and yeonjun doesn't really mind taking care of him all night. even if there are a lot of resolved feelings between the two of them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>111</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. party, party, yeah!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>yeonjun is glad he’s having fun. although the music from the kitchen is bleeding into the living room, and it’s just a bit too loud for his taste, and beomgyu hasn’t stopped talking for the past 10 minutes straight (about who knows what, yeonjun tuned out five minutes ago); he’s happy. </p><p>yeonjun takes a sip from his cup, feeling like he needs to do something with his hands, and refocuses his attention on beomgyu. the four of them, him, beomgyu, hueningkai and taehyun, are standing at the top of a staircase on the second floor of yeji’s apartment, three hours into the party she’s hosting. yeonjun doesn’t know yeji well, soobin was the one who officially got the invite, and truth be told, yeonjun hasn’t even seen yeji once tonight. soobin was the one who brought them and assured them she wouldn’t mind. and her not minding was a good enough excuse for beomgyu to drag the rest of them along. </p><p>but now soobin has disappeared, yeonjun saw him going up to the third floor with arin, one of the girls he’s working on a school project with. she got the new x-box for her birthday and soobin was immediately enthralled, asking her all sorts of questions.</p><p>“no, no, i get what you’re saying, but at the end of the day, it has to be ‘telepathy,’” beomgyu says loudly, waving his arm at hueningkai. yeonjun blinks a few times, refocusing himself on the conversation. </p><p>“you sound like everyone else on the planet hyung, i’m sorry, but my choice is ‘disease,’” hueningkai sighs, a real look of exasperation on his face. beomgyu’s jaw drops in shock. he feigns surprise, slapping his palm over his mouth. yeonjun rolls his eyes. beomgyu is always doing the absolute most. </p><p>“yeah, if it’s the most popular, it’s the most popular for a <i>reason</i>. this isn’t time for you to be thinking outside of the box or trying to prove you’re different from all of us. open your eyes and admit the truth to yourself,” beomgyu shoots back. </p><p>yeonjun is leaning against the wall, as the space in front of the staircase isn’t the biggest, and rests his head back at an angle. he has his hair half up in a ponytail so he can’t lean back fully, he always has to be at an angle. beomgyu is right in front of the stairs, taking steps to the left and right constantly, occasionally droplets from his drink spilling from the sides as hueningkai and taehyun try to get him riled up. </p><p>taehyun and hueningkai have been attached at the hip ever since the five of them arrived, and yeonjun smiles at the fact that taehyun is pressed up against hueningkai refusing to join in on their debate, but listening nonetheless, eyes wide with admiration.</p><p>the two youngest boys are half leaning up against the railing at the top of the staircase, half leaning up against each other. the four of them have claimed this liminal space, halfway between the kitchen and the living room. yeji’s apartment is really cool and really well decorated and probably really, really expensive. to the right of them is the kitchen, aglow with a harsh white light, where a hectic game of beer pong is happening, along with a wild setlist of pop songs that should not be screamed at the volume they’re currently being screamed at.</p><p>and to the left is the living room, emanating a soft pink glow into the four boys’ space. yeonjun must admit, yeji did a fantastic job at prepping for this party. the five of them had originally been lying or sitting on one of the various couches in the living room, but then beomgyu took a jello shot and announced he desperately needed to stand up and talk. </p><p>so now yeonjun stands, hands folded, warming his drink and keeping an eye on the three younger boys. him and hueningkai are the most sober, and yeonjun isn’t sure he’s going to drink anymore tonight. he feels good where he is. just slightly buzzed.</p><p>“what about you hyung, what’s your favourite song from <i>BE</i>?” beomgyu asks seriously, swirling around and coming up to yeonjun, holding his fist out like he has a microphone in hand.</p><p>yeonjun lets out a quick laugh at how hueningkai and taehyun are looking at him so expectedly. “i really like ‘fly to my room’,” he says quietly into his cup. beomgyu’s smile drops and a loud “HA!” escapes taehyun’s mouth as he detaches himself from hueningkai and comes over to punch beomgyu in the shoulder. apparently yeonjun had missed an earlier part of the conversation.</p><p>“this isn’t fair,” beomgyu whines, “i can’t believe none of you can appreciated the grammy award-winning song that is ‘telepathy.’”</p><p>“the grammys haven’t even happened yet, and that’s not the even the song they were nomi-”</p><p>“shh. in my mind, that’s the song they got nominated for and the song they <i>will</i> win for,” beomgyu shoots back, ignoring taehyun’s rebuttal. “you just like ‘fly to my room’ cause hueningkai said it was his favourite when he listened to the album for the first time,” beomgyu adds, sticking his tongue out at the younger boy. </p><p>hueningkai’s mouth forms into a small ‘o’ but taehyun just giggles and turns back, returning to hueningkai, and burrowing his face into the taller boy’s collarbone. yeonjun is just about to launch into his why he had picked that particular song when a girl with long light brown swings into the hallway from the kitchen.</p><p>she smiles widely at yeonjun before yelling “beomgyu!” and laughing as the boy turns to face her. beomgyu breaks into a grin and pulls her into a tight hug. yeonjun has definitely seen her before and is only 50% sure she’s one of yeji’s roommates. </p><p>as the two start a conversation yeonjun makes his way over to hueningkai who is still dealing with an embarrassed and tipsy taehyun. “who’s she?” yeonjun asks, keeping his voice low.</p><p>“ryujin. they’re in two of the same classes. she’s also one of yeji’s roommates, hyung. you’re literally in her apartment,” hueningkai laughs. yeonjun nods, laughing too. he can’t keep up with all of his friend’s friends and their living situations. </p><p>yeonjun refocuses his attention on ryujin and beomgyu and realizes she’s looking over at him, still a bright smile on her face. she says something to beomgyu and the two of them turn to face him. </p><p>“you’re yeonjun right?” she asks sweetly, “i like your outfit.”</p><p>yeonjun looks down at what he’s wearing. he has a black dress on that falls just above his knees. it’s sleeveless and has a turtleneck collar. he has black socks on and a dangly black cherry earring to match. </p><p>“um yeah, i am. and thanks!” he replies brightly. </p><p>“okay good, i was instructed to find a boy with pink hair and you’re basically the only option,” ryujin giggles. “soobin’s looking for you. he’s in either mine or yeji’s room, upstairs,” she says, pointing her finger upward. yeonjun’s brow furrows. “yeji texted me to tell you, apparently he’s pretty drunk,” she says semi-seriously. </p><p>yeonjun sighs. he knows soobin isn’t stupid, soobin knows his limits with alcohol. but yeonjun also knows that sometimes soobin just gets in these moods when he’s drunk, where he wants nothing more than to see yeonjun. which admittedly, is fun, he loves hanging out with soobin. it can just be a bit of a long process sometimes. once yeonjun starts talking to him, they usually don’t stop until soobin's passed out. </p><p>“i’m sure he’s fine,” hueningkai reassures yeonjun, “he probably just wants a cuddle.”</p><p>“yeah, i just wanted to let you know. yeji just texted me so don’t worry about it, i can go find him if you want,” ryujin says. yeonjun shakes his head.</p><p>“no, no, it’s fine. i can go find him. thank you though,” yeonjun says, giving her another smile. satisfied, ryujin turns around to head back to the kitchen.</p><p>“yah! you compliment yeonjun’s outfit and not mine?” beomgyu asks in disbelief. although his anxiety is rising at the thought of soobin alone, yeonjun can’t help but laugh. beomgyu is wearing a very flowy short yellow skirt and can not shut up about it. he’s practically mentioned it to every single person at the party already. yeonjun wouldn’t be surprised if ryujin has already complimented him on it. </p><p>“i already told you you looked cute when you came in,” she cries back, a look of shock on her face, “how much have you had to drink?” she asks teasingly. beomgyu hides his face behind his hands in embarrassment and says nothing, ignoring the laughter coming from hueningkai and taehyun. beomgyu grumbles something under his breath as ryujin says goodbye to them and promises beomgyu she’ll text him tomorrow. </p><p>“are you okay?” yeonjun asks, approaching beomgyu. he realizes he hasn’t checked up on him in a bit.</p><p>“ya, don’t worry about me, hyung. soobin is probably about to faint from not seeing you in the past hour,” beomgyu teases, reaching up to lightly tap yeonjun’s cheeks. </p><p>yeonjun swats his hand away with a scowl, but he’s suppressing a smile. yeonjun downs the rest of his drink, which was truthfully mostly juice, and heads into the kitchen. he gets two glasses and fills them with water, avoiding bumping into the various partiers spread out around the room. he sees ryujin in the back-corner swaying to the music with a group of girls while also cradling a cat in her arms. he smiles to himself.</p><p>he returns to his trio of boys to find beomgyu now on the floor, cross-legged, leaning up against the wall, staring down at the stairs. hueningkai seems to be rubbing taehyun’s face until yeonjun realizes he’s just fixing the sparkles taehyun has on his cheeks. </p><p>“hopefully we’ll be back down in a few. if not, come find us in a bit, kay?” yeonjun says, more specifically to hueningkai who is the most sober of the three. </p><p>“sound good hyung, i’ll let you know if anything else changes down here,” hueningkai reassures him. taehyun suddenly leaves hueningkai’s embrace and comes over to yeonjun, pulling him into a tight hug. yeonjun can’t exactly hug him back since he has the two large glasses of water in his hands, but he closes his arms as tightly as he can around taehyun’s frame. </p><p>“have fun hyung. i’ll miss you,” taehyun whispers into yeonjun’s chest. </p><p>“yah i’m going to be one floor above you, don’t worry about me,” yeonjun laughs, pressing a quick kiss into the top of taehyun’s head. </p><p>“see you in a bit gyu. don’t do anything stupid,” yeonjun says, nudging beomgyu’s knee with his toe. beomgyu grabs yeonjun’s ankle and looks up at him with a frown on his face.</p><p>“don’t tempt me. and don’t let soobin-hyung die, okay? he still hasn’t complimented me on my skirt.”</p><p>hueningkai lets out a groan of annoyance and taehyun lets out a long “beomgyuuu!!” as yeonjun starts climbing up to the third floor. he chuckles softly to himself as he sees hueningkai restraining taehyun from clamping his hand over beomgyu’s mouth. </p><p>the party is exclusively happening on the first two floors. the first floor, which is only a small room along with the front door area, is where a small group of people are watching a movie together. and the second floor has the living room and kitchen settings, allowing the guests to spread out wherever they want. yeonjun hasn’t been up to the third floor yet, but as he stands at the top of the staircase, he counts five bedrooms and one bathroom. </p><p>the lights are all off; only the soft glow of a nightlight in the bathroom is his source of light as he makes it past the various bedrooms. the music has faded slightly, so yeonjun can only hear a slight hum of lyrics coming up from the stairs. thankfully, he notices, the doors of each bedroom have cute name tags on them. he had turned left at the top of the staircase and has made it all the way down to the last room in the hallway before he sees ryujin’s name written in a sparkly gel pen on blue paper. the door is just so slightly open, which is another clue that there could be a potential boy in there waiting for him. </p><p>yeonjun softly kicks the door open with his foot, poking his head in first. there’s also a soft yellow nightlight in ryujin’s room, which casts a dim light around the room. but, for the most part, the room is quite dark. and there, splayed out on the bed, his feet up on the pillows, his head at the end of the bed, is soobin. </p><p>“hey binnie,” yeonjun says softly, walking in. he presses the door closed with his back and crosses over to the bed. he feels sort of weird entering someone’s bedroom whom he had just met for the first time, ten minutes prior, but he’s also curious to see how exactly ryujin decorates her space. her bed fits against the wall so one side of it and the end of it is pressed into a corner of her room. yeonjun sets the glasses of water down near the end of the bed, on the floor, and lifts himself onto the bed, careful not to sit on any part of soobin’s spread out body. </p><p>he crosses his legs, thankful his dress is wide and long enough for him to sit comfortably and leans back against the wall, letting out a deep sigh. soobin’s eyes are closed, and his chest is rising and falling slowly. yeonjun is relieved he hasn’t found soobin passed out or covered in vomit but instead, sleeping peacefully. </p><p>yeonjun brushes soobin’s newly dyed bangs out of his face. yeonjun had honestly been crushed when soobin had come to him with the box of black hair dye but yeonjun understood, it was hard to maintain a fully dyed head of coloured hair. </p><p>another reason yeonjun was acting so apprehensive to this whole situation was that he had discovered, very recently, he had some <i>feelings</i>. some feelings he had to eventually deal with. feelings about soobin. feelings about soobin he really didn’t want to think about too hard. but recently there had been so many moments when he looked at soobin and just forgot how to breathe, or think, or practically do any basic task. and he really didn’t want to dive into what that meant and how he should deal with them in the future, so he did what he thought was best and repressed them. </p><p>except he had slipped up a few weeks ago, at another party. he had drank <i>a lot</i> and when beomgyu had slipped in beside him on a pair of bean-bag chairs and had asked yeonjun what was on his mind, he couldn’t resist and had answered bluntly “soobin.” after some merciless teasing they had had a semi-coherent conversation, half of which yeonjun didn’t remember. they had never mentioned it again, possibly because yeonjun was sure beomgyu didn’t remember any of it happening, but he was still so embarrassed he had actually talked about it out loud with someone. even if that someone was beomgyu, who wouldn’t care for a second who yeonjun liked. if he did in fact like soobin. whatever. yeonjun didn’t want to think about it. </p><p>soobin stirs and opens his eyes slowly, instinctively moving closer to yeonjun’s touch. yeonjun giggles, the rest of his drink hitting him suddenly. soobin was so cute. </p><p>“hey, you. how are you feeling?” yeonjun asks softly. soobin blinks a few more times, finally awake, and props himself up on his elbows, looking up at yeonjun in surprise. when soobin finally clues in to his situation, his expression immediately melts, and he breaks into a bright grin. </p><p>yeonjun retracts his hand from soobin’s hair and lightly taps his left cheek. </p><p>“hyung,” soobin whispers loudly, “i’m really drunk.”</p><p>“yes, i’ve heard. you have a few people here keeping tabs on you,” yeonjun teases. he twists his fingers nervously in his lap. </p><p>“oh. well. that’s good i guess.” soobin’s expression falters. it looks like he’s still processing what yeonjun has just said. yeonjun can’t help but laugh. he leans over the side of the bed and pulls up one of the glasses of water. soobin’s eyes widen at the sight and he sits up. soobin crosses his legs and moves in front of yeonjun, completely mirroring yeonjun’s position. their knees knock together as soobin gratefully takes the tall glass from yeonjun’s hands. </p><p>“is this your first glass of the night?” yeonjun asks, tucking a stray piece of hair behind soobin’s ear, unable to resist. soobin looks very sleepy and yeonjun thinks it’s completely adorable. </p><p>soobin nods, too busy drinking to verbally reply. yeonjun purses his lips, annoyed that soobin had once again failed in the hydration department. he is the worst at forgetting to drink water once he starts drinking. soobin finishes half the glass and gives it back to yeonjun before returning to his previous position on the bed, his head right beside yeonjun’s knee. </p><p>“how are you feeling?” yeonjun asks softly. he has another urge to reach out and play with soobin’s hair, but he busies himself with drinking some water of his own.</p><p>“i feel really good. i feel kind of tired though, but also kind of not. i just wanted to see you so bad,” soobin mumbles. he suddenly shifts, rolling over until he’s snuggled up in yeonjun’s lap, his face pressed against yeonjun’s hip, his arms wrapped around yeonjun’s frame. </p><p>yeonjun only freezes for a moment before laughing and carefully leaning over to put his water glass down on the ground with soobin’s. soobin is wearing a striped knitted crop top with a sheer black long sleeve under it, which yeonjun had helped him pick out for tonight. there’s a loose strand coming out of the crop top that yeonjun starts absentmindedly playing with. </p><p>“well, i’m here now, right? so what’s up?” yeonjun asks quietly.</p><p>soobin doesn’t reply for a bit, he just mumbles something into yeonjun’s dress and pulls yeonjun closer to him. but yeonjun waits and eventually soobin turns his body slightly so his face isn’t pressed right up to yeonjun. </p><p>“i just missed you,” soobin says plainly. yeonjun scoffs. </p><p>“we spent like two hours together before you went off with arin. i think you can handle an hour without me,” yeonjun says, smiling.</p><p>“no,” soobin says back quickly, giggling, “no i don’t think i can.” </p><p>yeonjun digs his fingers into soobin’s side, fed up with this drunk dialogue he’s spewing, and soobin lets out a cry of laughter, hitting yeonjun’s arms in self defense. </p><p>“stop, stop, hyung! you’re going to make me throw up,” soobin cries, “i’m really drunk remember?”</p><p>“hmm. not sure if i’m buying that now,” yeonjun shoots back with a smile. “what did you have to drink?”</p><p> soobin lists off a few things until he seems to lose track of what he's already mentioned, but yeonjun gets the picture, he’s drunk <i>a lot</i>. </p><p>“is it alright if i just lie here for a bit?” soobin asks quietly. yeonjun nods and moves his hand up to scratch at soobin’s scalp. excited drunk soobin happens in waves and so sometimes soobin just wants to lie and think for a bit. soobin sure does a lot of thinking when he’s drunk, which yeonjun simply doesn’t get. never has he been blackout and thought that sitting down for a ponder was the perfect activity to do. </p><p>soobin closes his eyes, and yeonjun continues to run his hand though soobin’s hair as he looks around at ryujin’s room. her comforter is very comfortable yeonjun notes, but he hasn’t realized just how <i>cool</i> her room is. she has lots of posters on the wall that’s opposite to yeonjun. laminated posters of various idols, paintings, and movies. she also has a heap of plushies, some of which soobin has accidentally kicked to the side at the head of her bed. </p><p>yeonjun doesn’t want to snoop, but he lets his eyes wander around the room, taking in what he can see in the dim light. ryujin only has one large window in her room, which is on the same wall that yeonjun is leaning against, so he can’t actually see out of the window. but her curtains aren’t completely closed so slivers of light periodically slice through the dark room, reminding yeonjun there’s a busy nightlife just outside. </p><p>yeonjun pulls his phone out of his pocket (yes, his dress had pockets!) and checks his texts. his mom has texted him goodnight, but nothing from the three younger boys. he quickly texts hueningkai “come get us in half an hour. we’re in ryujin’s (who i now know lives here!!) need backup for soobin.” he sighs, content with how the night has gone, and leans his head back, clicking off his phone. </p><p>his ponytail is starting to bug him, as he desperately wants to just rest the back of his head flat against the wall and pulls his hand from soobin’s hair to undo the ponytail. soobin let out a small whine at the sudden absence of yeonjun’s touch but yeonjun just rolls his eyes. why does soobin have to be so dramatic all of the time. he’s spending too much time with beomgyu.</p><p>“what are you doing?” soobin asks suddenly, causing yeonjun to jolt in surprise, his hands in midair, reaching for his ponytail.</p><p>“i’m about to take my ponytail out, it’s not super comfy,” he explains softly.</p><p>“nooo, hyung, you look so cool with it,” soobin replies immediately, his eyes shooting open. he sits up, twisting his legs around so he’s once again crossing his legs, this time sitting to the side of yeonjun. he reaches up and grabs both of yeonjun’s hands in his own and pulls them down and away from the ponytail. yeonjun tries to scowl. </p><p>“yah, soobin, i want to lie back against the wall, cause <i>someone</i> is making me sit up here,” yeonjun says pointedly, scrunching his nose up at soobin. </p><p>“ok, ok, we can change positions,” soobin says, then smiles and flops backwards, pulling his legs out straight in front of him, while also pulling yeonjun on top of him in the process. </p><p>soobin lets out a loud laugh as yeonjun frowns down at soobin. soobin wraps his arms around yeonjun and pulls him down. yeonjun gives in and put his head just under soobin’s chin, the right side of his body on soobin, the left side on the bed. it’s comfortable, yeonjun has to admit. </p><p>soobin begins to rub slow circles into yeonjun’s back and yeonjun feels his eyes drift shut. he slides off of soobin a bit more, and shuffles upwards, so that now his head is nestled into soobin’s shoulder. even though soobin technically is taller than yeonjun, yeonjun always feels like soobin is ever so small whenever they cuddle.</p><p>suddenly yeonjun feels the small peck of soobin’s lips against his forehead, half on his bangs, half on his skin. </p><p>“what are you doing soobin,” yeonjun says, sounding tired. he’s not tired though, not of soobin.</p><p>soobin doesn’t respond and starts repeatedly pressing small kisses to yeonjun’s forehead. </p><p>“this is to help you fall asleep hyung,” soobin eventually explains.</p><p>“yah i’m not the one who’s being taken care of here. i’m taking care of you,” yeonjun grumbles. he didn’t come here to be babied by soobin. he came to help out. </p><p>“mm right hyung. and you’re working so hard at that,” soobin teases, continuing to kiss yeonjun’s forehead and hair. </p><p>“right! ok!” yeonjun answers quickly. he sits up, shifting onto his stomach and propping himself up with his forearms, both of them on soobin’s chest. his fingers come up to play with the collar of the sheer top soobin has under his crop top. yeonjun rubs his fingers against the rough material in frustration.</p><p>“i’m doing everything you asked! i brought you water! i’m missing out on some stellar beer pong shots right now,” he said, his voice gradually getting quieter as he sees the expression on soobin’s face. </p><p>“hyung i’m just kidding. and don’t lie we both know you don’t like playing beer pong,” soobin says cheekily. </p><p>“ok fine, but i could be doing something other than lying on a bed upstairs at a party,” yeonjun shoots back.</p><p>“ok fine, what do you want to do then?”</p><p>the question is so direct yeonjun feels himself blush. “i don’t know. do you want to go downstairs?” yeonjun knows soobin’s speech is still slightly slurred and he hasn’t even thought about the idea of soobin walking down the stairs, but he thinks he might as well put the idea out there in case soobin is up for it. </p><p>soobin whines in disgust and yeonjun laughs at the facial expression on soobin’s face. </p><p>“fine. i’m good to do whatever you want. what do you want to do soobin?” he asks, looking at the other boy with wide eyes. when soobin doesn’t respond for a while yeonjun sighs and flops back down on soobin’s chest, wrapping his arms under soobin’s armpits and under his back. </p><p>“wanna kiss you hyung,” soobin says a few moments later. yeonjun rolls his eyes.</p><p>“yah, well, you were just doing that, so i give you permission to continue.”</p><p>“no. no i wanna kiss <i>you</i>.” and suddenly soobin’s hands are tapping at yeonjun’s chin and pulling at his face to get yeonjun back up to the position he was just in. yeonjun’s eyes fly open and suddenly he’s very awake. he thought by the tone of soobin’s voice in his first request that he was just fooling around. </p><p>yeonjun sits back up again and peers at soobin. the younger looks serious enough. </p><p>“what do you mean?” yeonjun asks, his voice barely audible. he feels like the whole world has suddenly frozen over. </p><p>soobin smiles at him. a genuine smile and starts shifting positions slowly. he sits up, propping up his chest with his elbows behind him, as he lightly pushes yeonjun up and away, so yeonjun shifts until he’s sitting on his knees, his shins tucked under his thighs. he adjusts his dress and feels awkward about where to put his arms. soobin’s are preoccupied with supporting his own weight and so yeonjun just settles with putting them to his sides pressing into the bed, bracing himself as he leans forward to survey soobin. </p><p>“will you let me just kiss you just this once cause i’m drunk and i just want to kiss you this once, just this once, i promise i won’t tell anyone, beomgyu would never let us live this down, so just this once, please hyung, please,” soobin is rambling and sounds so desperate but also teasing and yeonjun feels more sober than he ever has in his entire life. he doesn’t know how to respond so he just nods. </p><p>but he knows that he nods because he does want it, yeonjun does want this kiss. but not in the way that soobin thinks he wants it. soobin thinks yeonjun is doing him a favour right now. that he’s letting him do this because soobin is drunk and putting up with drunk soobin is easier when you just let soobin do whatever he wants to do. soobin doesn’t even consider yeonjun lets the kiss happen because yeonjun <i>also</i> wants the kiss to happen. </p><p>and so soobin leans forward, and yeonjun leans backwards just a little bit, and then they’re kissing. and it’s nice. and it’s quick and yeonjun is tasting soobin’s lip-gloss and then soobin is giggling and his head falls into yeonjun’s chest. then his head shoots back up again and he places another kiss on yeonjun’s cheek, where most of soobin’s kisses normally go, and then he lays back down again, completely flat against the bed.</p><p>the moment is all over so quickly yeonjun barely has time to let it sink in. he sits, still for a moment, his brain trying to catch his body up on what’s just happened. he doesn’t know how to react, but he does know his heart feels like it’s hammering out of his chest and he hates how badly he wants to kiss soobin again. and he could. he knows soobin wouldn’t mind, but then that would mean something. that would mean that yeonjun just wants to kiss soobin. and not because he’s drunk or he’s lonely, no it’s because he really just wants to kiss soobin. for real. and maybe more than twice. maybe the idea of getting to kiss him all the time, is also a possibility.</p><p>yeonjun sits back at his original spot against the wall with a shaky breath. soobin cracks an eye open and looks at him, smiling, his dimples appearing in the low light. a streak of light from the window flashes into the room, illuminating soobin’s frame for a moment and yeonjun, once again, forgets how to breath. he feels like he’s just been knocked in the chest by a large immovable object. soobin is wriggling upwards, until his head is laying on ryujin’s pillow, which is currently under her comforter, but yeonjun doesn’t think soobin minds. </p><p>they’re suddenly so far apart yeonjun doesn’t know what to do. </p><p>“thank you,” soobin suddenly says, both of his eyes still closed.</p><p>“no problem soobin,” yeonjun responds coyly, trying to sound as normal as possible. yeonjun’s focusing on his mind right now. focusing on his emotions, which are currently being repressed, the feelings are also being repressed. yeonjun is shoving it all down to the depths of his brain, banishing all thoughts from his head. </p><p>“want me to play some music?” yeonjun asks suddenly, realizing just how quiet it is. </p><p>“yes please hyung.”</p><p>yeonjun smiles as he opens his phone. he sees that hueningkai has thumbs-ed up his message. he hears soobin shift and looks up to see soobin unscrewing a bottle of soju and finishing it off. yeonjun’s jaw drops.</p><p>“what are you doing?” he asks.</p><p>“what? i wanted to drink more,” soobin explains quietly, his expression suddenly soft. yeonjun realizes how harshly he’s looking at soobin. he lets his expression drop. he thought for sure soobin was done with drinking for the night.</p><p>“ok fine, but then please finish this off too,” yeonjun says handing soobin his glass of water. soobin happily takes it, sending yeonjun a finger heart as yeojun scrolls through his music selection. </p><p>soobin lets out a loud giggle and yeonjun looks up to see soobin carefully patting the heads of all of ryujin’s plushies. yeah, the alcohol is definitely hitting soobin again. </p><p>“bebe rexha?” yeonjun suggests, trying his best to keep a straight face. he fails miserably, and his face explodes into laughter as he hides his face in his hands and leans forward so he doesn’t have to look at soobin.</p><p>“yah! that’s not funny! she’s not funny! why are you laughing?” soobin demands, and the next thing yeonjun feels is a stuffed animal hitting his back. he can’t stop laughing and soon soobin is giggling too. he knows bebe is no joke. that’s one of the only rules soobin has: <i>no joking about bebe.</i></p><p>suddenly there’s a soft knock on the door and yeonjun’s head shoots up.</p><p>“hi guys,” comes a tiny voice, only capable of belonging to hueningkai. </p><p>“kai!!” soobin scream whispers, looking at yeonjun with wild eyes. the door opens wider and a hand grabs onto the doorknob, and a head pops in. hueningkai smiles brightly at yeonjun, and yeonjun gives him an equally as bright one back. soobin suddenly lets out a gasp and yeonjun startles, looking towards the younger boy.</p><p>“hueningkai! your nails glow in the dark!” soobin observes, pointing at the hand on the doorknob. yeonjun does a double take, but soobin’s observation is correct. hueningkai has five glowing points at the tips of his fingers. </p><p>hueningkai lets out a rushed “ohmygoshsocool!” and opens the door all the way, stepping to the side to pull his other hand into the room which yeonjun realizes is tightly interlocked with one of taehyun’s hands. </p><p>“sorry we just wanted to check up on soobin. make sure he’s doing alright?” taehyun asks quietly, looking at the younger boy.</p><p>soobin nods forcefully, sending taehyun two thumbs up. </p><p>“i think beomgyu wants us back in the kitchen to play some sort of game,” hueningkai explains, still inspecting his nails in the low light. “if you’re up for it, hyung,” he continues, looking at soobin.</p><p>“i am definitely up for it,” soobin replies cheerfully. yeonjun stands up and moves towards hueningkai and taehyun who are still in the door frame.</p><p>“good, it was starting to get boring without you,” a voice from down the hallway calls. yeonjun looks up to see beomgyu practically waltzing down the hall, a new drink in hand, and a feather boa around his neck. </p><p>yeonjun turns to look at soobin, who brightens at beomgyu’s voice. </p><p>“why don’t we get you up and downstairs, hmm?” yeonjun asks, going over to soobin. he takes both of his hands and helps soobin up. soobin only falters for a moment, but by that time yeonjun has already fetched his own glass of water and hands it to soobin. yeonjun turns back to face the younger three and winks at beomgyu who has caught up to where taehyun and hueningkai are standing, blocking his entrance into the room. </p><p>“where is soobin? where is my baby boy? i need to make sure he’s alright,” beomgyu calls, acting as if he’s in terrible pain. yeonjun rolls his eyes then falters when he feels arms snaking around his waist and feels a head hook onto his left shoulder. </p><p>“mm right here beomgyu, please stop yelling,” soobin says with a huffy laugh, tickling yeonjun’s neck. yeonjun turns his head slightly to look at soobin in his peripheral vision. none of the other boys react to soobin’s clinginess, when he’s drunk, this is his preferred position, hugging yeonjun so tightly at all times. but yeonjun’s heart is beating uncontrollably again, and he hopes soobin can’t feel it.</p><p>“good, now let’s go downstairs. we have a fierce line of competitors awaiting us in the kitchen,” beomgyu exclaims. he turns on his heels and starts half dancing, half walking his way down the hallway, humming some song yeonjun knows. </p><p>hueningkai and taehyun follow, still holding hands, taehyun laughing brightly at something hueningkai has just said. yeonjun smiles, he’s glad they’re all alright. he knows it’s only been less than an hour from when he left them, but he’s glad to see them again. </p><p>“you ready?” he asks soobin quietly.</p><p>“hmm, yeah. as long as you’re with me.”</p><p>yeonjun bites his lip to stop himself from smiling. he pulls soobin’s hands off from around him (soobin only lets out a small whine of protest) and goes to collect the glasses. yeonjun also straightens out ryujin’s comforter, picks up the plushies that fell on the floor and grabs the empty soju bottle soobin left on her bedside table. </p><p>“okay, let’s go kick some ass at beer pong!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. i'm so tired i'm so tired i'm so tired</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>they're even more drunk and even more bad with feelings.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>soobin has somehow become even more drunk than he was two hours ago. he thought he had already reached his peak of the night, but now he’s just drinking more so he doesn’t have to deal with certain <i>people</i> at the party. so now, as he sits in yeji’s kitchen, the white overhead lights beaming down on him, he knows he’s drunk. </p><p>it’s not the worst though. he’s happy. his mind is just dealing with a lot of emotions and <i>feelings</i>, and he doesn’t know what to do, but in typical soobin fashion, he’s somehow sure he’s going to mess it all up in some way. </p><p>yeji’s kitchen is very white. the walls are white, the table and chairs are white, the countertop is a nice grey and white marble, and even most of their dishes are white. soobin thinks the girls live in a very modern and grown-up apartment. he has complimented yeji on it at least two times tonight. </p><p>so it’s very funny to him to see all of these young people doing stupid young people things in such a proper setting. the game of beer pong the five of them had originally been promised to do, had failed epically. because someone (re: yeonjun) was so terrible they had to give up. plus, the five boys they were playing against were <i>very</i> loud and <i>very</i> excited and had done some sort of synchronized dance every time one of them had landed a shot. </p><p>but soobin didn’t mind. he doesn’t love drinking games, the whole concept leaves a sort of sticky feeling in his mouth, so now most of the party guests are milling around the kitchen, the music turned down. soobin is still wrapped around yeonjun as they talk to beomgyu near the back of the kitchen. </p><p> the three of them are sort of pressed into one of the corners of the very white room, sitting next to a very tall plant soobin keeps trying to rip some of the leaves off of. he’s too drunk to understand why beomgyu and yeonjun are continually pulling his hand back from the plant and explaining to him that he can’t just go around ruining people’s foliage. </p><p>yeonjun is sitting completely on soobin’s lap, soobin’s arms wrapped around yeonjun’s stomach, his head tucked into yeonjun’s neck. his eyes are closed, but he’s still listening to beomgyu and yeonjun’s conversation. at least he’s pretty sure he is. he thinks they’re talking about a song. or maybe it’s a movie. </p><p>soobin finally opens his eyes and lifts his head up, blinking a few times from the bright lights. the room spins for a few seconds but then stills, and he takes a moment to orient himself. </p><p>“want some water?” yeonjun asks softly, glass already in hand, moving it in front of soobin’s face. soobin grins. yeonjun is always on water duty, always so concerned with how much soobin has had to drink. </p><p>“no mm fine right now. thanks though, hyung,” soobin whispers. he sees beomgyu peering down at his phone, a look of confusion on his face. yeonjun puts the glass of water back down on the table beside them and refocuses his attention on beomgyu.</p><p>“wait, so there’s three books and four movies?” beomgyu says, confused.</p><p>“yes, but i haven’t read them yet. i do want to eventually, though. but i’m serious, gyu i think you would really like the series,” yeonjun says earnestly. </p><p>“hmmm maybe. we’ll see how long my incredible short attention span can handle it,” beomgyu says. he looks down at his phone again and suddenly gasps, his hand coming up to cover his mouth. “hueningkai just texted me, they’re starting a movie! hyung, i gotta go,” beomgyu looks up seriously at yeonjun. </p><p>even though soobin isn’t the most sober person he can tell beomgyu has somehow completely sobered up. he still doesn’t understand the younger boy’s alcohol tolerance. soobin is about to make a snarky remark about how beomgyu just pointed out he has a short attention span, but yeonjun is already shaking beomgyu’s hand farewell and sending him off with a wave. </p><p>“you didn’t want to join them, did you?” yeonjun asks, not bothering to turn to face soobin. they’re both looking out at the open kitchen, observing all the other guests. </p><p>“no. still wanna stay here for a bit,” soobin answers back shortly. and that’s the truth. he truly doesn’t think he could be more comfortable than where he is currently. yeonjun’s dress is made out of such a nice material, and his presence is so comforting, soobin wishes he could stay in the corner of this party forever. </p><p>“okay. let me know if you want or need anything else,” yeonjun replies. soobin just nods into his neck, shutting his eyes again. he knows yeonjun is spending all night taking care of him (not that soobin’s been <i>that</i> much of a mess), but he also knows yeonjun could leave him and go off with beomgyu if he wanted to. at least soobin hopes yeonjun knows that. he can survive without yeonjun, it’s just that he doesn’t want to. </p><p>soobin drifts off and opens his eyes a few moments later, unclear if he actually just fell asleep or not. </p><p>“enjoy your nap?” yeonjun asks. soobin is quite simply obsessed with the fact that he can make just one subtle movement and yeonjun seems to know exactly what’s going on with him. he also wonders if yeonjun is as comfortable as him. he doesn’t know if he has the best lap to sit on. </p><p>“mmhmm, how long was i asleep for?” </p><p>“only 15 minutes or so. ryujin came over and i let her know you were doing well. i apologized for any plushie causalities you may have caused,” yeonjun laughs softly. soobin rolls his eyes. </p><p>“i was being careful. it’s not my fault my legs are so long,” soobin says, pouting.</p><p>“i’m kidding, soobin. don’t worry about it,” yeonjun says. he twists his head and plants a kiss on top of soobin’s head. soobin smiles to himself. he has not been able to stop thinking about the two of them kissing and then refusing to talk about it. he wonders how long it will take yeonjun to break before he says anything about it. judging by yeonjun’s toned down reaction, it really didn’t do anything for him. but for soobin, he’s been doing a lot of thinking.</p><p>yes, he suggested the kiss because he was drunk and his brain wasn’t fully functioning properly, and it sort of just slipped out. but there was also some definite romantic feelings for yeonjun that were now at play and definitely making this situation worse. because now that soobin has done it once, he wants to do it again. but that would be weird. because they’re friends. and friends don’t usually kiss each other on the mouth. </p><p>except he knows that some people do that. except he also thinks he doesn’t want to kiss yeonjun as a friend. but when he starts thinking those thoughts his brain just kind of short circuits, and he reaches for another drink. hence why he downed the rest of his soju after kissing yeonjun. because his brain simply could not fathom what had just happened. </p><p>but then soobin reminds himself that yeonjun said he could kiss his forehead. he didn’t seem to mind that. and now he’s so painful aware that his lips are pressed up against yeonjun’s neck, and he just wants to kiss him and kiss him and kiss him. </p><p>he presses his lips to yeonjun’s neck, unfortunately covered by his dress’s turtleneck collar. it’s unfortunate really, the one section of skin soobin wants to get to is covered by fabric, all the way up yeonjun’s neck. he nibbles at the fabric, thinking for some reason if he can just somehow push the turtleneck down, all of his problems would be solved. he presses a few more soft kisses onto the fabric of the dress before yeonjun reacts. </p><p>“yah, what are you doing soobin?”</p><p>“nothing hyung.”</p><p>“soobin,” there’s a pause, “it doesn’t seem like nothing.”</p><p>soobin ignores him. pushing the envelope a little bit, just to see just how much yeonjun will put up with him. soobin will stop if yeonjun asks him to stop. he just hasn’t asked him yet.</p><p>“soobin, there’s other people around,” yeonjun says as if soobin could have somehow forgotten. they’re pretty tucked away from everyone else, and there’s no reason why someone would be looking their way, but it just seems so intimate what they’re doing. soobin doesn’t seem to mind though.</p><p>“don’t care, hyung,” soobin says, pressing a soft kiss to yeonjun’s jaw. </p><p>yeonjun shifts in soobin’s lap, turning himself around so he’s now facing soobin. soobin opens his eyes and lifts his head up, studying the older boy.</p><p>“yah, but i think that <i>i</i>…” yeonjun trails off, not able to complete his sentence with soobin staring at him like that. but to soobin, he’s just looking at yeonjun like he normally does. and soobin doesn’t even realize what makes yeonjun drop off in the middle of his sentence like that, until he notices the slightly pink tint on yeonjun’s cheeks. it’s there, mixed in with the look of annoyance that soobin knows so well. but the blush is new, the younger boy also notices, it looks sort of like, embarrassment? </p><p>“why are your cheeks red?” soobin blurts out. he cringes internally, that did not come out properly. that was way too direct. even for drunk soobin. </p><p>yeonjun looks like a deer in headlights, his eyes widen and his mouth forms into a small ‘o’. he ducks his head away from soobin, shifting around again so he’s facing the kitchen. </p><p>“i’m a bit stuffy. do you mind if i go to the bathroom real quick?” yeonjun says quickly. soobin can tell from his tone of voice he’s not telling 100% of the truth, but he nods anyway and begrudgingly lets his hands slip off yeonjun’s frame. yeonjun stands up and places the glass of water in soobin’s hands before turning and heading towards the washroom. </p><p>soobin thinks everything is good between them. he hopes. he hopes he didn’t just somehow mess it up. </p><p>“soobin!”</p><p>soobin looks up to see yeji coming towards him, a big smile on her face. she’s mouthing along to the lyrics of the song that’s currently playing and dances over to the chair beomgyu was sitting on. she sits down and crosses her legs, her eyes practically sparkling. soobin wonders how much more she’s had to drink since the last time he saw her. </p><p>“hi yeji!” he says brightly.</p><p>“hi soobin!” she responds, giggling. she has her hair in two pigtails and sparkly eye shadow on, along with a lesbian pride flag sticker stuck to her right cheek. soobin wants to compliment her on her outfit because she really does look so put together, but she speaks first.</p><p>“i was wondering if we could pass out your cookies now?”</p><p>soobin’s eyes grow wide. he had completely forgotten he had baked two batches of shortbread cookies for the party-goers. he nods quickly, a smile breaking out on his face.</p><p>“i completely forgot, but yeah, they’re in the fridge, i think,” soobin says. he claps his hands together once he puts down his water glass. “ah! i’m so excited, i really forgot i had even brought them. i think there’s enough for everyone. do you want me to help pass them out?” he asks.</p><p>yeji shakes her head. “no, no it’s alright. me and ryujin are going to get on it. she’s been eyeing them the whole night so i’ll make her pass them out too. we’ll swing by and give you one, don’t worry,” she says with a wink. she stands up and high fives soobin, they just barely manage to make it, and twirls off. soobin is now very awake and very excited at the thought of eating his own cookies. </p><p>he made them the day before and had spent a whole hour debating on whether or not they were good enough to bring to the party. but then he remembers yeji’s face when he had presented the two large containers to her and realized it had all been worth it. he hopes the five girls keep some extra for themselves. he probably should’ve mentioned that they get more because, well, they were willing to host all of these people in their apartment. </p><p>soobin watches as yeji leaves the kitchen then comes back with ryujin in hand, pulling her towards the fridge. the two girls open it and take out the containers. soobin looks on as they approach different guests and offer them the cookies. a few people look over and wave or smile at him; no doubt yeji is spreading the news that soobin is the baker. ryujin disappears into the living room, and yeji goes over to him, bending down and presenting him with a cookie as if it’s some sort of sacred object. </p><p>he giggles and takes it, thanking her. he lets her know that she should put some aside for her and her roommates, but she just shakes her head and assures him that they’re fine. after a back and forth, she finally agrees to put a few aside, thanking soobin profusely for his work. </p><p>just as she’s leaving, yeonjun appears back in the kitchen, cookie in hand, a big smile on his face as he makes his way over to soobin. the awkwardness of their interaction earlier seems to have disappeared, and soobin sighs a breath of relief when yeonjun slides back into his lap.</p><p>“you didn’t tell me you made these,” yeonjun says, sounding annoyed, but soobin knows he’s just teasing.</p><p>“i wanted it to be a surprise,” soobin explains, smiling.</p><p>“they’re really good. exactly what we all needed right now,” yeonjun says, giggling, pointing out how now most of the guests have calmed down and seem very thankful to have some homemade baked goods in front of them. “taehyun wants to give you an official report,” yeonjun continues, “want to go join the kids in the living room?” </p><p>soobin snorts at the mention of ‘kids’, as if he’s not just a few months older than beomgyu. but he nods and hooks his arm around yeonjun’s as they stand up and make their way to the living room. a few people give their thanks, and yeonjun teases him softly as soobin smiles at all the praise. </p><p>they cross over to the living room, the soft pink lighting still illuminating the space. there’re three couches, a coffee table and a large bookshelf against the wall. there’s also a fuzzy green carpet and a large overhanging lamp that is currently turned off. under it is beomgyu, hueningkai, and taehyun, all huddled around a tablet.</p><p>soobin's head still feels fuzzy and he smiles at the sight of his three friends. he can’t resist running over to them, peering over at whatever they’re looking at, the screen upside down for him. they all greet him with cheers, only taehyun still has some of his cookie left, and it looks like he’s savouring every bite. </p><p>beomgyu grabs soobin’s hand and gives it a squeeze, nodding expectantly at the movie playing. </p><p>“coraline,” he explains, “want to join us?” </p><p>“yah, hold on, you’re watching coraline without us?” yeonjun complains, sitting on the couch beside hueningkai. hueningkai detaches himself from the other two boys and instinctively leans forwards, burrowing his face in yeonjun’s chest. yeonjun smothers hueningkai in a tight hug, pressing a few kisses to the top of his head. </p><p>“sorry hyung,” comes a muffles explanation from hueningkai, “taehyun really wanted to watch it again.” </p><p>“don’t blame this all on me!” taehyun shoots back, nudging hueningkai with his foot, “you also wanted to watch.”</p><p>“it’s fine,” yeonjun says, miming wiping away a tear and fanning his eyes, “i’ll get over it eventually.”</p><p>soobin snorts and pushes yeonjun’s shoulder slightly, laughing at him. hueningkai sits up, a look of annoyance on his face. </p><p>“you guys could have easily joined us, don’t make this a big deal hyung,” hueningkai says deadpan.</p><p>just as soobin is about to suggest they pause the movie and chat for a bit because, to be honest, he isn’t feeling sleepy at all anymore; he hears yeji’s voice behind him, trying to get their attention. he turns to see her, ryujin, and lia (another one of the girls' roommates) all staring at the five boys expectedly.</p><p>“we were wondering if you guys wanted to come up to the rooftop patio?” lia asks quietly.  </p><p>“you have a rooftop? no way!” beomgyu exclaims immediately, “hyung, we have to go!” </p><p>yeonjun lets out a soft laugh and nods, looking at hueningkai and taehyun for an answer. </p><p>“yes okay we can go,” taehyun says. because they all know he’s the one that usually sways their decisions. beomgyu starts clapping, and lia breaks into a smile. she motions for them to follow her, and yeonjun jumps up, stumbling a bit. soobin giggles, reattaching his arm to the older boy.</p><p>“you okay?” he asks yeonjun quietly.</p><p>“pffft, i’m fine,” yeonjun replies, “it’s you i’m worried about.”</p><p>soobin just scrunches his nose and doesn’t reply as they follow the three girls up two flights of stairs. the fourth floor is just a small square of flooring, and then a large outdoor deck is to the right, overtop of where ryujin’s room is. </p><p>the night air is cool and nice. soobin is wearing jean shorts and likes how the breeze feels on his legs. beomgyu is annoyingly twirling around the deck with his skirt on full display. soobin knows he’s been vying for compliments all night and refuses to give him any, wondering how long it will take until beomgyu confronts him about it. </p><p>there’s around 10 other people on the deck, either sitting on the two couches made out of some sort of woven thin wood or standing over the railing, looking out over the edge. the girls’ apartment is in a part of the city that’s not immediately downtown and has more of a rural feel. there’s lots of houses and parks near their apartment, so soobin loves coming over. </p><p>he feels yeonjun tugging on his shirt and follows him blindly, eventually turning his head to look where the older boy is taking him. yeonjun sits on the couch, near two of the boys they had ‘played’ beer pong with earlier, curling up to soobin as soon as he sat down. </p><p>“are you tired?” soobin asks him quietly.</p><p>“hmm a little bit, i think. it’s weird you’ve managed to stay awake longer than me,” yeonjun replies. soobin laughs, but he knows the reason why. maybe because if he takes one look at yeonjun his heart starts racing, and he feels so awake and alive and cannot get the thought of wanting to k*ss him out of his head. or something like that. well, soobin is pretty sure it <i>is</i> that; he just doesn’t know what to do. he’s scared. so he’s going to act like everything is normal. and hopefully he won’t screw it up. </p><p>“yeah, dunno, i feel like there might be something different about tonight, hyung,” soobin said absentmindedly. well, there goes him trying to act normal. </p><p>yeonjun just nods and pulls soobin closer, closing his eyes. soobin smiles over at the two boys, one of which has just pulled out one of ryujin’s cats from who knows where and is cradling it like a baby. soobin looks around and sees the outlines of taehyun and hueningkai at the corner of the railing. the dim lights the girls have set up don’t reach all the way out onto the balcony, so the people leaning against the railing can’t clearly be seen. </p><p>beomgyu is talking with ryujin when he catches soobin’s eyes and waves.</p><p>“i like your skirt gyu! you look really nice in it,” soobin calls, shooting finger guns at him. beomgyu’s facial expression drops in shock, and soobin receives a smack in the stomach from yeonjun.</p><p>“yah, don’t fuel his ego,” yeonjun mumbles. </p><p>“yeah, but he’s been waiting for me to say something about it all night,” soobin replies quietly, giggling at how many hand hearts beomgyu is sending him right now.</p><p>“i’m honestly surprised you held on for so long,” yeonjun says. soobin grins at that. </p><p>he looks down at yeonjun with such a fond smile on his face, which he knows beomgyu would tease him for, but right now he doesn’t care. and suddenly yeonjun has shifted, and he’s looking at soobin, and they’re centimetres apart. and soobin doesn’t know what to do.</p><p>flashbacks of their previous kiss run through his mind, and he knows he can’t do anything. not here, not now, but it does confirm one thing that his feelings are very much real and very much a thing. and that’s bad because now he wants to ruin this relationship, this friendship, this whatever-they-have. </p><p>a soft tap on soobin’s shoulder breaks them out of their staring contest, and soobin feels his heart rate slow as he peels his eyes away from yeonjun. yeji stands in front of him, smiling.</p><p>“hey i just wanted to let you know that i washed out your containers and put all the extra cookies in one of my own containers. it’s drying in the kitchen right now, so you’re free to take it and put it in your bag whenever you want,” she explains. soobin’s expression softens. yeji really is just an incredible friend. even while hosting a party, she’s still finding the time to wash some dishes.</p><p>“thanks, i’ll probably go down in a bit and put it away,” soobin replies smiling. “if this one will let me move at any point,” he continues, nodding towards yeonjun. the comment earns him another smack to the stomach from the older boy and yeji giggles. </p><p>ryujin suddenly appears and wraps yeji in a backhug, picking her up and swinging her away. the two girls break out into loud laughter, and soobin, once again, looks down at yeonjun. his eyes are still closed, but soobin can tell he’s not asleep, his hands curled up playing with soobin’s crop top. </p><p>“i’m not bugging you, am i?” yeonjun asks once their space quiets down again.</p><p>“no, no you’re good. although you probably shouldn’t fall asleep out here.”</p><p>“right, yeah, i should move, i don’t want to pin you down,” yeonjun replies quickly.</p><p>“no! no,” soobin says too loudly and too fast. he winces. too much. “sorry, i just mean you’re good where you are.”</p><p>“oh right. but i think i should try not to pass out out here,” yeonjun explains. the whole conversation is awkward, soobin is biting his lip in annoyance. why did he have to phrase all of his words like that. </p><p>“why don’t i go get my containers and put them away, and then we can go sit somewhere else inside?” soobin suggests, panicking a bit and mentioning an activity that will get both of them up and into a different environment. yeonjun seems to catch his drift and sits up, rubbing his face. </p><p>he’s so sleepy and soobin cannot resist tugging lightly on yeonjun’s ponytail. he giggles, but stops once he sees the dazed sort of look on yeonjun’s face. soobin can’t tell if it’s because yeonjun was just pressing his face against soobin or if it’s something he said, but the tint on yeonjun’s cheeks has returned. he also has this sort of glassy look in his eyes, and his lips are parted ever so slightly. soobin feels like he’s done something wrong. he stands up quickly, not offering yeonjun his hand and waits for the older boy to get up to. </p><p>one of the two boys sitting beside them suddenly asks yeonjun where he got his dress from, and the older boy turns around and engages them in a conversation, smiling brightly. soobin sighs, not out of annoyance, just because it seems the alcohol is finally leaving his mind and he makes a beeline for taehyun and hueningkai. </p><p>the two younger boys are deep in conversation, but both let out cheers when soobin backhugs taehyun. the younger boy swivels in soobin’s grasp and pulls him into a proper hug. </p><p>“i never got to tell you all my thoughts on your cookies,” taehyun says, pouting. </p><p>“well, what did you think?” soobin asks, eyes wide with excitement.</p><p>“um, i think they were really good. i can’t really remember now, hyung,” taehyun giggles, looking over at hueningkai for support.</p><p>“yes, you really like them. i think by the end you gave them a 9 out of 10,” hueningkai says fondly, ruffling teahyun’s hair. </p><p>“only a nine?” gasps soobin, “what could i have done better?” </p><p>“made more of them,” taehyun says, sticking his lower lip out in a pout. soobin lets out a sharp laugh. taehyun still looks wobbly and seems set on pressing himself as tightly against soobin as he can. </p><p>“how much has he had to drink?” soobin mouths to hueningkai, running his hand up and down taehyun’s spine.</p><p>hueningkai shrugs and holds up five fingers. soobin doesn’t know five of what drink exactly, but he nods anyway. not that he’s in the best headspace to be policing taehyun what he can drink and not drink. it’s just that he’s younger and smaller, and soobin worries about him a lot. he also now realizes he's definitely still drunk, just a little less so than in the kitchen. he doesn't know if that's good or bad progress.</p><p>“how’s it going with yeonjun-hyung, hyung?” hueningkai asks innocently, but soobin can see a slight smile on his lips. </p><p>“good. he’s getting pretty tired though, when do you guys want to head out?” soobin asks, not entertaining hueningkai with whatever he was insinuating. </p><p>“we’re good to leave any time, right taehyun?” hueningkai responds, and taehyun nods against soobin’s chest. “i think it’s beomgyu you’ll need to be convincing,” hueningkai adds, laughing. soobin looks over to see beomgyu taking selfies with ryujin and lia. always the life of the party. </p><p>“okay, well, yeonjun and i are going to go pack up my bag so you guys can still stay here for a bit. maybe warn beomgyu we might be leaving in the next hour,” soobin explains, feeling suddenly responsible for the three younger boys. even though his brain is kind of a mess right now, he knows getting them home safe is one of his top priorities of the night. </p><p>hueningkai nods, and soobin practically pries taehyun off of him, handing him over to hueningkai. taehyun bursts into a fit of giggles and wraps his arms around hueningkai’s neck and burrowing his face in hueningkai’s shoulder. soobin just shakes his head at the two and hears his name being called in a soft voice. perfect timing, as he turns around to find yeonjun waiting for him at the door back into the apartment. </p><p>soobin walks over, waving to yeji as he slips back inside with yeonjun. </p><p>the two of them are silent as they make their way to the kitchen. down the two flights of stairs, not a word is spoken. soobin knows it’s awkward, and he wishes he wasn’t awkward and that everyone was perfect and back to normal. but he messed it up. he shouldn’t have even suggested the kiss. it messed it all up. </p><p>but he doesn’t exactly know why yeonjun is being distant from him. if he was uncomfortable with the kissing, soobin isn’t sure why he wouldn’t’ve just told him. they tell each other everything, well, almost everything. soobin wonders what yeonjun is hiding from him.</p><p>“i’m going to take a break in the upstairs bathroom, okay? come get me when you’re done,” yeonjun says flatly as he fills up another glass of water. he takes the glass with him as he disappears quickly from the kitchen, almost as fast as they entered. he’s not mad at soobin, soobin can tell that. this is a different side of yeonjun. normally he can tell exactly what the older boy is feeling. but something’s off. </p><p>soobin sighs to himself, but he finds his containers and dries them off happily. he’s glad everyone enjoyed his cookies. he worked really hard on them. he’s really looking forward to doing more baking in the future. </p><p>he goes down to the first floor and finds his backpack under the heap of all the other bags and slips the containers in. he pokes his head into the movie room, only to find it empty. lots of the guests have already left. </p><p>soobin returns to the kitchen, pours himself a glass of water, and chugs it. he stays in the empty kitchen staring at the white walls. the windows are open so he can hear the faint yells coming from the rooftop. soobin decides this was a really fun night. even with the accidental-sort-of-on-purpose kissing of his best friend. speaking of said best friend, soobin has to go find him. </p><p>he chuckles to himself, it’s funny that yeonjun was probably doing these exact same actions to go find soobin not two hours ago. he sees an almost empty bottle of vodka and against better judgement takes a big gulp of it. it’s gross but goes down easily enough. soobin panics, realizing he doesn’t have a chaser and opens the fridge to see what he can find. he sees a carton of juice and quickly pours himself a glass, emptying his water in the sink first. it’s yucky, the taste in his mouth, but soobin doesn’t really care at this point.</p><p>he decides he’s going to confront yeonjun. him and his drunk brain have realized that’s the best option here. instead of tiptoeing around each other, although that’s only been happening for ten minutes now, soobin doesn’t like it. he’d rather attack the problem head-on from the get-go. even if it’s slightly stupid to do at a party while both of them are pretty drunk. whatever. once again, soobin doesn’t care. </p><p>he makes his way up to the third floor quietly and knocks on the bathroom door softly. he doesn’t hear a response for a bit. he knocks again.</p><p>“junnie?” he asks quietly. he doesn’t hear a response, but he hears yeonjun moving. he cracks the door open, and the bathroom’s harsh lights hit him. all the lights in the staircase had been turned off, so it’s a sharp contrast. </p><p>yeonjun is sitting on the toilet with the seat down, nursing his glass of water. his eyes are half-closed, and his ponytail has been taken out. he looks up at soobin, his expression unreadable. soobin is now calculating every movement he makes in relation to yeonjun, so their greeting is awkward. soobin sort of pats yeonjun’s shoulder before retreating quickly and sitting down on a step stool across from the sink.</p><p>the bathroom isn’t big. there’s a small stand-in shower, a toilet and a small sink. just like the kitchen, everything is white. soobin notes the five different toothbrushes all lined up on the counter. the mirror is large, and there’s one shelf filled with skincare products and one plant. and yeonjun, with his pink hair and black dress, casts a stark contrast through the small space. </p><p>soobin leans back against the wall and closes his eyes. it’s weird neither of them have said anything yet. or is it weird? is this how they normally act? soobin doesn’t know. he doesn’t know anything anymore. </p><p>“we should talk,” soobin blurts out. he clicks the door all the way shut with his toe. his eyes are still closed.</p><p>“oh. okay. what do you want to talk about?” yeonjun replies slowly, his voice thick with sleep. he’s pretty drunk, soobin realizes. seemingly more so than when they were upon the deck. </p><p>“no hyung. i mean, talk about us,” soobin elaborates. he winces slightly. he has no idea how he should steer this conversation. if he should even steer it in any direction at all. he just wants to be able to plainly and honestly tell yeonjun his feelings. but that's so <i>scary</i>.</p><p>“oh.” </p><p>then neither of them says anything for a really long time. or at least it feels like a really long time because soobin refuses to open his eyes and look at yeonjun. he just stares at his eyelids and hopes the older boy says something. which he does, eventually, because he’s yeonjun, and he can’t stand long silences for too long. </p><p>“um. okay, i think i’m ready to talk about us now,” yeonjun says seriously. soobin’s eyes fly open. he wasn’t expecting this type of reaction from him. he didn’t know yeonjun had to prepare himself to talk about them. he thought this would be easy for the older boy. yeonjun doesn't exactly know what soobin is talking about when he says "them," or does he?</p><p>soobin eyes yeonjun. he doesn’t exactly know how he should go about this, so he stays quiet and let’s yeonjun take the lead. even though drunk soobin staying quiet is one of the hardest things to do in the world.</p><p>“i have something to tell you,” yeonjun starts off slowly. </p><p>“hold on,” soobin interrupts. once again, so much for keeping quiet. “i don’t know if this is the best idea in the world. we’re both drunk.” he says stupidly.</p><p>“yeah, i know we’re both drunk. but i think what i have to say is something that sober me has been thinking for a while now, he’s just too scared to say it,” yeonjun elaborates.</p><p>“please don’t start talking about yourself in the third person, hyung.”</p><p>“shh. soobin, just, let me speak.”</p><p>yeonjun takes a deep breath and drinks the rest of his water. he looks down at the floor; soobin is watching his every move, then he looks up at soobin. they stare at each other for a moment. soobin knows; he can practically hear the words about to spill out from yeonjun’s mouth. he doesn’t even know how he knows. maybe from the incredible thick tension filling up the room, or the way that yeonjun is looking at him so earnestly, or maybe the fact that the two of them have known for so long. </p><p>“i think i like you.” </p><p>the sentence comes out of yeonjun’s mouth so quickly and quietly soobin doesn’t react for a moment. and then the weight of the words hit him square in the chest, and he feels like he’s floating. and because of the alcohol and the party and yeonjun’s stupid face, he lets a small giggle. it’s so quick and squeaky that he slaps his hand over his mouth and then buries his face in his hands. his heart is racing, and yeonjun doesn’t say anything.</p><p>“hyung, i think i like you too,” soobin says into his palms. it’s muffled because he’s speaking directly into his hands, but he knows yeonjun has heard him. and an unmeasurable silence seems to stretch on for hours. soobin refuses to look up. </p><p>“so what do we do?” yeonjun asks so innocently soobin feels like his heart is being ripped out of his chest. </p><p>soobin finally looks up. he knows his cheeks are flushed, and his smile is lopsided, but looking at yeonjun, who still has this dazed look on his face, soobin can’t help but laugh again. he really can’t believe this is happening. in this way, with these words, in this bathroom. </p><p>“what do you want to do?” soobin asks cautiously. yeonjun is picking at his nails. he looks nervous. soobin suddenly also feels very nervous. this whole thing is scary. how easily they admitted it to each other after so long. </p><p>“i really want to kiss you again,” yeonjun blurts out. and then it’s his turn to bury his face in his hands. soobin’s mouth drops open. this was not the response he was expecting. he doesn’t laugh though, because he understands. after not being able to just grab yeonjun and kiss him and touch him for so long, he also desperately wants to do it too. the longing for it has almost worn him out. </p><p>soobin stands up suddenly. he’s not exactly sure what he’s doing, but he feels like sitting hunched over on the step stool isn’t the ideal place for where this conversation is going. </p><p>he takes one of yeonjun’s hand off of his face and pulls him upwards, towards him. yeonjun’s cheeks are still pink, but at least now he’s smiling. they’re both so embarrassed, it’s painfully obvious, but soobin doesn’t care. he’s happy. </p><p>he doesn’t know how to go about doing this. it’s all so new and exciting, and his heart is beating so fast, and he reaches out and adjusts yeonjun’s cherry earring. and yeonjun smiles, and soobin smiles back. </p><p>and then yeonjun is pushing soobin backwards until he hits the white tile wall and he’s reaching up and pressing his lips to soobin’s. and yeonjun has both of his palms pressed against soobin’s chest, and soobin pulls yeonjun closer, and they’re both so happy.</p><p>once they break apart, soobin can’t help but stare at yeonjun. he still cannot believe this is happening. they both laugh because it’s kind of still awkward, and they’re both still drunk. </p><p>“wow two kisses in one night,” yeonjun whispers. he starts picking at soobin’s crop top again. winding the loose threads around his fingers.</p><p>“you’re soooo lucky, hyung,” soobin replies teasing, equally as quiet. </p><p> then soobin can't resist and pulls yeonjun's turtleneck down and presses quick kisses all over yeonjun's neck. yeonjun lets out a breathy laugh but soobin simply cannot stop himself. he didn't realize how bad he wanted this. he kisses yeonjun's jaw and chin and mouth and cheeks and and and. and then he's suddenly so exhausted, realizing he hasn't taken a proper breath in a while.</p><p> soobin pulls back, not really embarrassed anymore. yeonjun watches him, eyes full. he takes soobin's face in his hands and presses a deep kiss onto soobin's mouth, nibbling at soobin's lower lip. soobin's stomach lurches.</p><p>when they break apart yeonjun flops forward, his head landing under soobin’s chin, his arms wrap around soobin’s waist. soobin smiles and hugs him even tighter (if that’s even possible at this point) and they stay still, just holding each other for a few moments.</p><p>soobin buries his nose in yeonjun’s hair and takes a deep breath, feeling like he can finally breath normally for the first time in a while. </p><p>“can we stay like this forever?” yeonjun asks, voice still quiet.</p><p>soobin lets out a small laugh into yeonjun’s hair. “i think our legs will start to get sore in a bit hyung. wanna go lie somewhere?” he suggests. yeonjun nods, but neither of them makes any attempt to move. it doesn’t feel different. and yet soobin knows something has changed. but he doesn’t have to think about it too hard right now. </p><p>yeonjun finally stands up and hooks his fingers into two belt loops on soobin’s shorts, pulling him off the wall. they collide, and yeonjun laughs, grabbing soobin’s hand and leading him out of the bathroom. soobin turns off the light, and they’re now in the dark, shuffling down the stairs to the second floor in silence. once they reach the landing, yeonjun pokes his head into the kitchen to see only a few people sitting around the table. soobin notices yeonjun smiling at one of the boys and recognizes him as one of them from the duo on the balcony.</p><p>yeonjun leads soobin into a now-empty living room and nods towards the couch. yeonjun lies on his back, his head resting on one of the armrests. they’re in the same spot they had found beomgyu, taehyun and hueningkai watching the movie. soobin grabs a discarded blanket from one of the other two couches and throws it over yeonjun before climbing on top of yeonjun, lying flat on the older boy’s body. soobin’s head rests on yeonjun’s chest, and he rubs the soft material of the blanket, closing his eyes. </p><p>he hears yeonjun humming a song and feels yeonjun’s hands start to twist little stands of his hair together.

</p>
<p> "we can talk more in the morning, okay soobin?" yeonjun asks quietly. soobin doesn't say anything, he just nods. they both probably have lots to say, and some of it is probably best done sober. soobin eventually falls asleep and is awoken by a very sleepy-eyed taehyun rubbing his back. he slowly props himself up on yeonjun’s chest to find beomgyu, hueningkai, and yeonjun deep in conversation and taehyun sitting on the floor watching soobin, a large blanket wrapped around his whole body.</p><p>“have a good nap, binnie?” yeonjun asks, dragging his pointer finger down soobin’s jaw. soobin nods, unclear how long he’s been asleep for. it appears this has been a consistent activity throughout the night. slipping into a small slumber only to wake up with yeonjun right beside him every time.</p><p>“i wanna go home, hyung,” taehyun says quietly, looking at his lap. yeonjun and soobin share a smile. when taehyun gets tired, he gets <i>tired</i>. </p><p>“yah, we’re all ready to go except for you two,” beomgyu points out. the feather boa has been discarded, he has soobin’s backpack slung across his shoulder, and his bucket hat placed perfectly on his head.</p><p>the five of them are sleeping over at beomgyu’s, the typical destination after they all go to a house party. yeonjun struggles to sit up all the way, knocking soobin backwards slightly, and hueningkai helps soobin up, patting down his matted hair. the five of them shuffle into the kitchen and say goodnight and thank you to lia and ryujin as they’re trying to wake up a sleeping yeji on the kitchen floor. </p><p>they tumble down the stairs, soobin’s hand finding the back of yeonjun's neck and giving it a squeeze. they all slip on their sneakers, ending their night with slow and deliberate movements. </p><p>outside it’s still warm, and a chill runs down soobin’s spine. beomgyu pulls out soobin’s water bottle from his backpack and passes it to soobin with a tight smile. soobin unscrews the cap, downing half of the bottle. he passes it to yeonjun, who finishes it off. </p><p>soobin passes it back to beomgyu, who then joins hands with hueningkai, whose other hand is preoccupied with teahyun’s, swinging it wildly back and forth as they walk. </p><p>“did you have fun tonight?” yeonjun asks soobin.</p><p>the sound of their five feet padding against the pavement is the only sound soobin hears for a moment. the hum from cars has faded into the night. he breaths in a deep sigh.</p><p>“mmhmm. thank you for sticking with me the whole night, hyung.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>please tell me everyone gets the references of the chapter titles haha (thank u jungkook of bts and mingyu of svt). also i fully know nothing about itzy, i just needed some Cool Girls to add in and they seemed perfect sorry if anything about them is inaccurate. hope you semi enjoyed this messy jumble of words that have been in my brain for weeks</p><p>and five dollars to anyone who can guess what books series yeonjun and beomgyu were talking about in the kitchen fsflksfklsdlfsdds</p></blockquote></div></div>
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